Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Fag hag Carole Malone delights in soap porn!

To the London Literature Festival queer party at The Green Carnation club in Greek Street - where Molly Parkin DJs Tuesdays - and the fabby writer Rupert Smith is holding court, educating us on new literary genres of porn. One specialises in placing favourite TV soap characters in filthily pleasurable scenarios - can you imagine Coronation Street's Emily Bishop being DP'd by Ken Barlow and Norris? What a hot pot. And I must bone up on porn featuring disabled people in wheelchairs - this sounds most novel for jaded palates.

Witty Rupert is the cause of much laughter, and laughing loudest is ... The News of the World's Glenda, Carole Malone! There she sits, having waltzed in with the sexually elusive Cleo Roccos, a flame who does not burn. And dancing attendance on the pair are the Telegraph's Andrew Pierce and some other man whom I recognise but cannot name. What a delightful sight Carole is ... her picture byline doesn't do her credit at all.

For more on the festival, which starts July 5 and features Rupert Smith gigs, click here

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh tell us more about the Green Carnation Club! We know the Wilde connection and now the Molly connection - what else goes on there?

Madame Arcati said...

Well, what can I say? I'm not sure I'm an expert but I have been there a couple of times now, and plan to go with a friend next Tuesday at Molly's invitation.

Upstairs looks like a Victorian parlour crossed with some classy bordello. Men in twos, usually young, are seated on comfortable sofas and the bar people panic if you deviate in your conversation from matters alcoholic. I shouldn't be surprised if the place becomes a private members club. It might be a good idea, to keep out any tempted WAGs and their psycho boyfriends.

Last week I snuck into the club just to see Molly in action, but didn't want to meet her at that moment. I had hardly passed the threshold and some young swine had pinched my arse - I took that as a sign that I should depart and return when other omens were more favourable. My impression was of a harmless crowd of all ages, a nice balance of men and women of various sexual directions - quite a few lesbotics - and lecherous male singletons lurking where the strobes didn't shine.

I may hold a seance there.

I'm sure there's lots of sex but I've always thought Oscar Wildey sex was best done at the Savoy (which is currently shut).

Anonymous said...

Does Duncan Fallowell go there?

Madame Arcati said...

I have no idea whether Duncan goes there - if he sees this perhaps he will tell us. I certainly have never seen him at the club.

drf said...

No, I've not been there and hardly go into the West End in summer. In fact I'm about to go to Herefordshire for two months to work on my ghost story. But I'd love to check out the club in the autumn - if it's still going then. Anyone remember Dysfunctional Dandy? Is it like that one?

Best wishes, Duncan F

Madame Arcati said...

Never heard of Dysfunctional Dandy - great name. This ghost book sounds most fascinating. I hope the ghost is actual and not a metaphor ....

Anonymous said...

Your friend David Sexton is most rude about this festival in the Evening Standard - he thinks it's all pointless. Why would any self-respecting festival showcase porn?