Thursday, November 04, 2010

Lord Bath: He'd make a nutritious meal for his lions. That's all.

Nesta Wyn Ellis' scandalous, unauthorised bio of Lord Bath and his wifelet addiction, Lord of Love, has just been published. For a flavour of the book you can read this as part of a recent serialisation in the Daily Express.

An analysis of soul-compromised aristocratic decadence, it's a must-read: a narcissistic, cock-driven shit stuffed with a sense of entitlement and the self-critical faculty of a precious thug: at least that's the impression one gains of his lordship as Nesta burrows through his modest accomplishments ever framed by inherited (ie unearned) capital Longleat. His only use so far as I can see is as sweet meat (Bath is diabetic) for his lions.

Why would a woman marry such a man unless just to acquire a title, a few servants and a teaspoon of blue blood spunk? The question has to be asked.
Do you find this man handsome?

Nesta's tendrils embrace all regions of his flaky Tudorbethan facade - he ought to be on his knees in gratitude that a celebrated John Major biographer should focus her attention on him at all - and pulls off a decorative effect on a yesteryear zeitgeist figure. She converts him into a useful pathological case study. He's not just cat food then.

I cannot think of higher praise.

PS: The photo (above right) is of a young Alexander Thynne (aka Lord Bath), cover boy for yet another instalment in his interminable autobiography. A writer in comments asks me to consider whether I find him handsome. I would say not handsome, but pretty, period catamite-style: had this photo appeared in an Oscar Wilde bio, as one of his green carnationist admirers in Worthing, only the uniform would have surprised me.

22 comments:

Joe MacFarlane. said...

Misread, thought it said nutritious...food for his loins.

Anonymous said...

Die!

Lady Muck said...

His dad was far more interesting. And much more outrageous.

Anonymous said...

I think most of his wifelets married him for a roof over their heads. Lots of impoverished upper class tarts about.

Anonymous said...

Madame on the post-prandial sherry? Again?

Anonymous said...

I think you miss the point. Lord B has added to the gaiety of the nation. He didn't ask to be master of Longleat (ret'd), he has made the most of a peculiar life dealt him. What would you do if you stood to inherit one of the largest estates in Britain?

Anonymous said...

I've complained to Google.

Anonymous said...

Alexander was stunningly handsome as a young man. Check out the images and post one.

Madame Arcati said...

There's no such thing as a handsome aristo, genomically impossible. But send me a link and I'll reconsider.

Anonymous said...

You should be ashemed of yourself.

Joe MacFarlane said...

I knew one of the Harveys. He was weird but she was lovely.

Anonymous said...

See front cover photo of his book Two Bites of the Apple - I think it's on Amazon. Glorious looking. You'll understand a little more.

The Rt Honourable Get Me A Good Table said...

I don't want to get personal but I saw him loitering outside St Mary's last year - I thought he was a bag lady.

Madame Arcati said...

Dear Anon just above, I found the photo and I have added a response in the post.

Anonymous said...

You are being contrary. If that's not handsome, nothing is.

Anonymous said...

Alex is the sweetest of men and I cannot imagine what he's done to upset some batty old journalist masquerading as Madame Arcati.

Anonymous said...

His Indian babe wifelet was a hooker in New York. Just saying.

Madame Arcati said...

I think most of his wifelets were hookers of sorts, otu for a free meal. Sorry any Lady Baths reading this - but I'm right ain't I?

Anonymous said...

Don't be so hookerist

Lady Muck said...

Didn't his brother hang himself in the gatehouse ?

Anonymous said...

If Lord B is handsome and you say this is genomically impossible, could this support the hypothesis that the jolly old Marquess is not his father's son?

We are all beautiful in my family, even though somebody got fucked by a king...Princess Got What It Takes.

Madame Arcati said...

Reveal yourself to me now!