I am delighted to learn that Private Eye editor Ian Hislop has a fervent, hitherto secret admirer. Step forward Hollyoaks star Roxanne McKee who has a BA in politics. "I've always had a weird crush on him," she sighs, her bosom heaving perceptibly, eyelashes quivering, with a faint dew emergent upon her tender flesh. "It's because he's so funny." Just in case Ian is not a Hollyoaks fan, I am happy to reproduce a most comely pic of the darling which I can vouch has not been PhotoShopped one bit.