Saturday, May 26, 2012

Eurovision 2012: Mary Beard's bibliomancy predicts Engelbert's humiliation

Sweden, a worthy winner of Eurovision 2012. I am most pleased.

I am also delighted to report that a recent prediction that Engelbert Humperdink would flop at the show proved painfully true, with the UK last but one. My mystical divinatory tool was Mary Beard's ancient bibliomancy - the use of a book, opened at random, to discover a future truth. This is what I wrote on April 28 2012:

'Actually, the commonest book to use is the Bible. Now, let's see. I'll ask the question: 'Will Engelbert Humperdink win Eurovision?' I open the Bible randomly and (without looking down down on the page) select Ezekiel Ch 33 verse 32 (I swear I'm not making this up): this reads: 'And, lo, thou art unto them as a very lovely song of one that hath a pleasant voice, and can play well on an instrument: for they hear thy words, but they do them not.' Mmm, I think that's a definite No.'

So there, you materialist scum. To read more click here.

Oh, Sweden...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ezekiel 23, pure porn.

Madame Arcati said...

I had no idea.

the late Joshua said...

Doesn't Ezekiel carry a report of a meeting with an Alien spaceship?

Madame Arcati said...

I didn't realise that so many Arcatistes (2 of you) were so well informed on Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 1:4-6 has this - "I looked, and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north -- an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light. The center of the fire looked like glowing metal, and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures."

A scene not unlike that of the alien visitation in Close Encounters where a vast chandelier descends upon the high rocky place; and Mankind proceeds to parp at it. In code.

Anonymous said...

Dear Josh, many commentators state that the "wheel" in Ezekiel is a UFO.