Saturday, June 21, 2008

Fuck the young! Welcome to the New Gerontocracy!

Written off in your 40s and 50s are you? Tired of reading coded ageist job ads seeking people with "minimum two years experience"? That must mean you're not a celeb or royalty or a tyrant or rich. Boo hoo! Here are a few stirrers and shakers who in ordinary life would probably now be being patronised, fired, preferred against, on the grounds of age ...

Grace Jones at Meltdown this week, so lithe - aged 60
Robert Mugabe, fresh-faced Zimbabwe tyrant - aged 84
Doris Lessing, '07 Nobel for literature - aged 88
Molly Parkin, sexy DJ at The Green Carnation - aged 75
New unknown artist at the American Visionary Art Museum, Baltimore - aged 112
John McCain, US presidential candidate - aged 72 when he wins or loses
Joan Rivers, thrown off Loose Women for calling Russell Crowe a fucking shit - aged 75
Madonna, multi-hyphenate artist, Hard Candy-ing - aged 50 this year
Anna Wintour, US Vogue editor and fetishist for youth and a notorious ageist - aged, er, 60 next year
Rupert Murdoch, media mogul and employer of practising ageists - aged 77
Dame Elisabeth Murdoch, mother of Rupe, recent victor of a $85m Australian tax case - aged 99
Harrison Ford, still Indy-ing - aged 66 this year
Tina Turner, back again shortly - aged 68
Barbara Walters, sharp US TV interviewer - aged 80 next year
HM The Queen, self-confessed Abba dancer - aged 82
Andrew Neil, new job as boss of entertainment agency PFD - aged 60 next year
Sumner Redstone, Paramount Pictures boss, inter alia - aged 85
Pope Benedict XVI, jet-setting moralist, Gaia's vicar, good at languages - aged 81


Tart said...

and madame is aged ... ?

Anonymous said...

what about Lavinia?

Madame Arcati said...

Ah Lavinia, it's true I regard her une femme d'un certain age but perhaps she started early and gave birth to Val at a tender age - I wonder how Val is doing at the heart of Europe. I wonder if he knows Mandy. Questions questions.

I don't think I know anyone below the age of 30 with a brain at all.

Casanova's son said...

Is "fuck the young" a call to arms or a proposition, Madame? If so, may I offer you my young, urgent cock? I have a strong stomach for the task.

Anonymous said...

Did you go to Meltdown? Grace was just incredible, better than ever and she has a new album out this year.

Duralex said...

<< Is "fuck the young" a call to arms or a proposition, Madame? If so, may I offer you my young, urgent cock? I have a strong stomach for the task. >>

Woohoo, it's time I reactivated my old "chimney and pipe" joke. But first I'd like to ask you if you're straight or gay/bi. Your little romance with "Madame" might depend on that sort of personal details, see... ;-)

Stella Polari said...

You`re as old as the man you feel, Arcati.

For pics of your niece getting some exercise today - see Stella Polari.

Madame Arcati said...

While my presumptive seducer quivers in the background I should say Madame Arcati is an omnisexual, self-absorbing and self-lubricrating entity. Going to bed with Arcati would be akin to fornicating with a hydra who has as many male-female parts as heads as well as the competing psychologies. Still interested?