Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Rupert Everett: Isherwood-y and his mummy cunt

Rupert Everett is writing a sequel to his indiscreet autobiography Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins. He tells the Radio Times - when he's not slagging off Americans as "whiny complainers" and describing them as "blobby" - that "since no one famous is talking to me any more [he revealed, for instance, that he had cock-cunted Susan Sarandon], I've had to leave famous people out of it and just write about other things in my life."

My heart sinks at this news. But then he adds, helping me to rally: "This one will be more Christopher Isherwood-y." My hope is that the emphasis will be on the wood-y rather than the Isher. Was it not Isherwood who once said of his dreaded mother: "Just think of her! Sitting in front of a fire in Kensington warming her cunt!"

If Rupie proposes to emulate old Ish (in spirit, at least) then we must look forward to the result. I wonder whether Justine Picardie will tidy it up (again).


Duralex said...

<< [he revealed, for instance, that he had cock-cunted Susan Sarandon] >>

What? Mr. Everett is not completely lost for the ladies after all ? Why did he so noisily come out as gay, then ?

Anonymous said...

I don't understand any of this

Madame Arcati said...

Dear Duralex, how I miss your Bambi-like innocence. I don't know whether you've heard but cock-cockers are quite capable of cock-cunting if they have a mind to, and certain cunt-cunters are versatile too. Other permutations are also a feature of the human orgy but we'll take this step by step.

As to the uncomprehending anon above, I've called for the nurse. Just hang on in there. Oh, here he comes now, with the meds.

Duralex said...

<< Dear Duralex, how I miss your Bambi-like innocence. >>

Oh how refreshing are these kind words to my depraved soul !

But I'm afraid you got me wrong, chéri. If one has a mind to cock-cunting, one is not gay, or at least not completely. Many gay friends of mine have never had sex with a woman in their whole life, because they simply can't get it up for a woman. As I wouldn't either be able to get it up for a man, even with a dozen tablets of viagra, I can understand that.

From what I read in your other articles on the subject, Mr. Everett has a lot to complain about the consequences of his gay coming out. Why then didn't he stay in the closet, or acknowledge he's bisexual ? I'm confused.

As a matter of fact, it just sounds like Everett's latest sexual revelations are a desperate attempt to control the (self) damage.

Madame Arcati said...

Perhaps Rupie is a creature of sexual whim with a default cock-preference option.

I think his image was rather cast years ago as an unpredictable, mercurial bad boy whose multi-tasking gets him out of career scrapes. He is a Gemini, after all - classically so I'd say.

I don't think his coming out has damaged him in the least, not if Hugh Grant is his benchmark of what-might-have-been had he hidden behind masks and PRs and cryptic utterances - like some other stars I could mention. Everett's "career" perfectly mirrors the inner man and so far as I am concerned he is Dirk Bogarde all over again - but with a much lighter touch, perhaps, and a more honest one.

I'm not sure the movie world can cope with bisexuals. It's all a bit too confusing for the poor tarts who do as they please behind closed doors.

Duralex said...

<< I'm not sure the movie world can cope with bisexuals. >>

Why ? I personally think that bisexuality, or better : humansexuality, and even pansexuality, should be the official norm for actors and actresses. For their public personas, I mean (they may be what they want – or what they can – in their private life, which is their business and no one else's).

Anonymous said...

I recently ran into Rupert Everett at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras where he was guest of honour. I asked him if he remembered our encounter when I picked him up outside the Embassy Club eons ago. I broke a precious front tooth on a steel cock ring he wore at the time-I'd never seen a contraption like this before. After he booted me out in the morning to go off to fencing lessons I had to resume my waiting job and it took six week's wages to get a shiny new crown to return my gorgeous smile-I named the tooth "Rupert" in his honour. Recounting this tale to him last year he looked very serious and simply said " how amusing" before walking of !. Perhaps he was taking it all in for the next edition of his memoirs.

Anonymous said...

Well I loved his book and who cares if it was 'tidied up'. I think it was brave and honest (and very funny in parts) and he discusses his sexuality and giving up cock-cunting ( Beatrice Dalle was his last woman I believe)

And all the insider gossip on Hollywood was priceless. What's not to love about Rupert?

Madame Arcati said...

I loved Rupie's book too, it's a classic of sorts and rich with indiscretion. I hope the follow-up will be much more personal.

Duralex said...

<< ( Beatrice Dalle was his last woman I believe) >>

I'm not surprised. Tabernak, that woman is a sex bomb, she would turn the gayest guy straight !