Friday, June 06, 2008

Rupert Everett: 'I broke tooth on his cock ring'

I have no way of knowing whether this suck 'n' tell on Rupert Everett is true, but read it and decide for yourselves. It's just too delicious to bury in comments. And if it's not true perhaps Rupie will get in touch ...

"I recently ran into Rupert Everett at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras where he was guest of honour. I asked him if he remembered our encounter when I picked him up outside the Embassy Club eons ago. I broke a precious front tooth on a steel cock ring he wore at the time - I'd never seen a contraption like this before. After he booted me out in the morning to go off to fencing lessons I had to resume my waiting job and it took six weeks' wages to get a shiny new crown to return my gorgeous smile - I named the tooth 'Rupert' in his honour. Recounting this tale to him last year he looked very serious and simply said 'how amusing' before walking of! Perhaps he was taking it all in for the next edition of his memoirs."

11 comments:

Duralex said...

This is indeed hilarious, but for some reason I tend to doubt the veracity of those stories about celebs and anonymous waiters. The pattern is so prevalent that it sounds like an archetypal cliché.

Madame Arcati said...

You think it may be an urban myth? You say waiter but it could have been a waitress who broke her tooth as enamel collided with steel. With Rupie best not to assume.

Anonymous said...

well no-it is indeed true ( for it is me again)but it was a long time ago when Rupert was still an acting student (but still 6/5" tall). I can offer one little bit of proof-which I've been able to dispell some other stories that have appeared on pop bitch etc. Rupert has a rather large dick and it's cut..the others always make mistake and say he isn't..but he is !! The encounter took place in the basement of his parents house just off the Kings Road..and he made me sleep in a seperate bed..all very matter of fact ! I hope Susan Saradon was treated with more affection !

Duralex said...

<< You think it may be an urban myth? >>

It is in most cases actually, but in the circumstances I'd give this one the benefit of the doubt.

<< You say waiter but it could have been a waitress >>

Dammit, you're right. Hey, Anonymous, we demand the whole truth !

One question, though : why doesn't that... person sell their story to the tabs ? Mr. Everett is not yet a has-been, is he ?

Madame Arcati said...

Tabloid lore holds kiss n tells only work with the surprise-shock element. Rupie has shrewdly been honest about himself these past few years so his taking home a pick-up is not really news beyond the amusing detail. It should also be borne in mind that if our friend is male then your average cock-cunting psycho shouty national newspaper editor will not really be interested cos he prefers blonde informants and football/sporty/political victims, preferably fellow cock-cunters. So, stick with Madame ..

iknowsomethingyoudontknow said...

That's some damn fine cock-sucking if anonymous-waiter managed to break his tooth !

I see that C4 (or some other bitch whore of a TV channel) is trailing Rupes as presenter of a programme on Richard Burton (19th cent. explorer and scholar, not the Welsh windbag). We see him with very little on and he's looking pretty hot from the neck down !

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madame Arcati said...

I saw Cleo again for the umpteenth time and suddenely realised what an appalling actor Burton was; fit only for the National, what with his roarings at the ceiling as Liz rubbed her clit with another diamond.

As to Rupes, I had the honour of a preview and can report that he enjoyed a dream come true - singing a song to a group of nuns from The Sound Of Music.

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't this blog be renamed Madame Cockati? I have never seen so much filth all dressed up in pretty prose.

Duralex said...

<< Shouldn't this blog be renamed Madame Cockati? >>

Hahaha, very good ! I wish I had found this one.

<< I have never seen so much filth all dressed up in pretty prose. >>

Which is much more enjoyable indeed than self-righteous blather in dull style.

Madame Cockati said :

<< Tabloid lore holds kiss n tells only work with the surprise-shock element. Rupie has shrewdly been honest about himself these past few years so his taking home a pick-up is not really news beyond the amusing detail. >>

I'm not saying that the anecdote could make the headlines, but at least it might nicely help stuff the middle pages. And the interest of it is not so much in Mr. Everett picking up male or female one-night stands (who doesn't, actually ?) but rather in him not offering to pay for the new tooth. Probably he was too broke at the time when this incident is supposed to take place, but a good tabloid hack would easily "forget" that little detail, don't you think ? :-)

Anonymous said...

Just a further note from the one with the "Rupert" tooth-if anyone had the good fortune, like me, to see Rupert in the stage version of Another Country they would have realised what a wonderful acting talent he was. Truth be told-Everett is one of those lucky people who looked better at 40 then he did at 20 ( not that it stopped me).
The media were pretty vicious about Rupert's decsion to stay in the closet when he was young-squiring young upper class gels around town. He really got a pasting he never deserved (considering the sexual shenanigans of the acting world). I think they basically had a go at him because he always gave of a bit of "snobbish" air ( he says in his autobiog he was snob when young). I think that's why he moved to Europe where such things didn't matter.
NB: the tale and my real name I expect may appear in the next book being written by Simon Napier-Bell-who once managed Rupert. He is writing a series of anecdotes about the music, film and fashion world.