Instead of mugging old bitches in shopping malls and then bleating on Jeremy Kyle's hideous TV show (all male guests affect a lubed, snaggle-toothed short fringe), why not enter the John Betjeman Young Person's Poetry Competition? Details can be found here.
Betjemaniacs are legion. Among their number is Private Eye's Ian Hislop - I understand he has made a programme for BBC4 on the history of the Poet Laureate to be aired in May. Hislop interviewed Betjeman's daughter Candida Lycett Green in the Polly Tea Rooms in Marlborough for the show.