Sunday, April 12, 2009

Nicky Haslam: The Documentary by Hannah Rothschild

Hannah Rothschild

A Darling - that's an Arcatiste angel - tells me that one of Lord Rothschild's brats, writer/producer/director Hannah Rothschild, is making a documentary of one of Madame Arcati's Favoured Few, Nicky Haslam. Isn't that exciting? Hannah is a Gemini, btw, born on May 22, 1962, so we're virtual twins.

Aren't you, as a dumb unthinking atheist, with your picked-up godlessness cos you read it in a manual someplace, intrigued that two Geminis born within hours (Mercurial time, however) of each other should share an interest as singular as Nicky? No? Well, fuck you then.

My Darling writes in his encrypted message: "The only time I've ever seen Haslam was in the beer garden at South Central in Vauxhall. I thought he was talking to a glamorous woman until my friend pointed out that she had shovel hands and an uncommonly large Adam's apple." Goodness, and I thought April Ashley lived in the south of France - John Prescott's a friend of hers, incidentally.

Last year, Hannah raised the odd eyebrow still capable of such athleticism by appearing to contribute to a book titled Corfu the Garden Isle, compiled by Count Spiro Flamburiari. The Rothschilds are usually shy of publicity, see. A 2008 report in the virtually invisible online newspaper, The First Post - managed last I heard by an ex-Telegraph diaspora - suggested this was a "new book": yet according to, the title was released as recently as 1994 (and a secondhand copy is available at a bargain basement £136.17 as I write). Perhaps someone could elucidate.

Nicky Haslam

In the book Hannah - whom David Hockney immortalised in a portrait - says of the Rothschilds' villa on the island: "Until the early Nineties, a huge searchlight placed above Aghios Stephanos searched the night water looking for escaping Albanians. Ships and pleasure craft straying into Albanian waters were apparently shot at. Following a drunken lunch my godfather Tremayne Reynell took up a dare to collect an Albanian pebble in a small sailing dinghy. We all watched in terror as the small craft tacked back across the straits waiting for a clatter of bullets to rip through the tiny sail and her captain. He made it back and with the pebble."

Frankly, Hannah (recently appointed by the PM as a trustees of The National Gallery for four years) and Nicky are made for each other. Fish, why didn't you tell me of this development? I am most displeased.

For more about Hannah, see her website.


Fish Inton said...

Okay. So yes, I've known about the documentary for a while... but things have been hectic here at Fishington Manor! Combine a heavy workload with the stress of a new (fleeting?) obsession with Mickey Rourke (as he is now) and general lack of effort from You-Know-Who to meet up with yours truly... NH hasn't been at the forefront of my thoughts... which is an odd feeling.

Was your anonymous contact at the Vauxhall Is Gurning event that Nicky was at a few years back? That would perhaps explain the Tranny.

Speaking of, will you be hitting Trannyshack anytime soon, Madame? =P Might see you there.

Apologies for my silence, and all the best,
The Drag Prince x

Madame Arcati said...

I hope you're in the documentary, Fish. Mmm, Mickey Rourke, loved him in The Wrestler. As strange a Hollywood star as I have ever seen. I used to live near Trannyshack once - can't stand the area to be honest. All that traffic and cricket.

Fish Inton said...

I have no idea what is going on with the documentary, probs won't be in it - I believe anybody who knows Nicky will steer clear of me although they know nothing about me... such is life.

HR went with Nicky to film in NY (or somewhere in the US) and to see his editor. Book all ready to go now, it seems.

F x

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Mickey Rourke, was he the inspiration for Haslam's new look ?. Madame A must be rather young and have missed Nicky's first 40 years where he successfully adopted the persona of an insufferable snob.

x veritas

Madame Arcati said...

Oh Veritas, who has a little pink tongue? I'm afraid one takes the snobbery for granted, comes with the turf. Why do you think Rothschild is doing the doc? It's just a class thing in the end. The only thing to be said for Haslam is that he is interesting and his horoscope suggests wider social tastes than his reputation allows. His book should be fascinating: all the snob papers will be reviewing it with first person anecdotes. And why not?

Fish Inton said...

Veritas, you know nothing. He is totally not a snob. He cuts through class and all that shit; he doesn't care where somebody's family has come from or whatever, it's all about whether somebody's fun/interesting/genuine. If somebody's up their own arse they're not worth his time; sure, he'll be nice to them but he won't like them for it no matter where they're from.

Just got back from dinner with him and Andy @ The Wolseley. Mmhmm. Totally pissed I must confess.

forgotten ones fund/stephmastini said...

..Mickey a snob!? You must be joking...eccentric yes. I adore him. I am old enough (!) to recall his younger years...he was an enigma, and still is (have you seen the love he displays for his dogs, it is heartbreaking)... He was just as misunderstood as he is now...That is one of the reasons I find him so endearing...different is good, very good, Veritas. Watch "The Pope of Greenwich Village", it is my fave.

Anonymous said...

Oh forgotten one-I meant Nicky not Mickey !
I encountered Mr Haslam many times Fish Inton and I said.."adopted the persona"..I never got to know him well enough to decide if he really was a snob and any schoolboy, as Nicky did, who decorates their bedroom windows at Eton with leopard print can't be all that bad. I'm probably being a bit mealy mouthed as he stormed over to me at a party he threw for Andy Warhol at The Gardens and demanded to know why I was there after having refused me an invite but calmed down when I pointed out I had come in Warhol's group.

And as I was making a nice living via Hello and their social scribe John Rendall until La Haslam took over the column with his startling New Romantic cum Hells Angel dress. But look at Rendall now !. Well that's all I could do as he swept by me a few nights ago in a new Bentley courtesy of the success of a tale about a dead lion called Christian. I should always heed the adage-when one door shuts 2 more open !.

So I'll be in the first row to see this Haslam doco !

x veritas (a typical Virgo who lashes out but is capable of great humility in the end)

ps: I lurve Mickey Rourke

Fish said...

Lots of love,
Fish x

Fish Inton said...

Bit of a falling out with NH. Am fuming at his childishness. Not sure how this is going to play out.