Saturday, February 24, 2007

Duncan Fallowell: 'I am not Nancy!'

Dear Madame Arcati
I'm turning to you in desperation. My book To Noto on the Amazon website is accompanied by black and white photographs of a woman in various postures including getting married to Peter Rodd in a long floaty lacey thing. [Click here] It's giving customers quite the wrong impression of what I'm really like. Honestly I was never photographed by Cecil Beaton in an off-the-shoulder organdie number and never stood beside a lamp post in the Dior New Look. They've got me muddled up with Nancy Mitford. One customer has expressed considerable annoyance that I'm not a chick with a dick. I've tried to contact Amazon and so has the publisher, Martin Rynja of Gibson Square, but those piccies carry on up there - look for yourself. I'm just trying to live a simple life. Can you help?

Yours gin & tonically, Duncan Fallowell

Dear Duncan
This is truly appalling, that you should in any shape or form be confused with someone called Nancy. You do realise that you may have a case in law against Amazon? This is a libel though perhaps of a sort not yet properly tested in the courts. I would strongly urge you to post something in the Amazon review section of To Noto asap, something to the effect that you are not Nancy Mitford and that you are not having, nor have you ever had, Cecil Beaton. Then proceed to a good lawyer to bring suit (as the Americans put it). I hope Madame Arcati has been helpful.

Yours (beam me up) scotch & tonically

MA x

14 comments:

Ms Baroque said...

And I'll have a large red.

Susan Hill said...

WHAT photograph of you dressed as Nancy Mitford ?
Anyone would think you wanted people to go to amazon and buy your book.
Which I did.
Weeks ago.
And read.
And it`s brilliant.
So who needs Nancy Mitford ? Come on Duncan, be your own man ..

drf said...

Susan - why are you accusing me of trickery? This is not a trick. I don't do tricks. If you go to my book To Noto on the amazon.co.uk site you will discover it to be accompanied by a series of black & white photographs of Nancy Mitford. Try again with your spectacles on and pause a second. Duncan x

Susan Hill said...

I only wear specs for driving. I`ve looked and looked and looked and I can`t see them. I think the`ve done them in fairy ink.

drf said...

The reason you can't see them is that you don't want to see them

Susan Hill said...

I am never making a joke ever again. I have upset Duncan without ever meaning to - I hope I never mean to upset anyone. I genuinely could not see the Nancy M pics on amazon and thought HE was joking. I sent a jesting comment to you. Duncan then pointed out that if I clicked on the image of the cover of his book on the amazon site I would see the Nancy M pictures. I did and I did.. but I certainly could not see them otherwise. I still can`t. God knows why. But that is not the point. A joking remark was taken to heart and I am so sorry. Of course I don`t think Duncan would try to drum up publicity for himself. Of COURSE not.
And as for wanting to be mistaken for Nancy myself, as he wonders- I mean who would ? Besides, I don`t need it.
I apologise to Duncan. I will never joke again. Now I am upset,

Arcati said...

Honestly, you literary types. I can imagine how your respective diaries for today are going ...:

Susan: "That Duncan F. So sensitive! Just you wait until his next collection of interviews comes out ..."

Duncan: "Well, really. That Susan H - accused me of self-promotion. I think I shall sue Amazon and Long Barn-what's-it. That'll show her ... "

drf said...

Susan, I'm afraid you've made another little mistake - I didn't say you have to click on the cover image to see them - because you don't where I come from. They come up with the presentation page. But don't worry - please don't - we all make mistakes - and now that I've guzzled some Wincarnis and had a massage from Marcos I'm almost calm and have reinstated you in my will. I'm leaving you The Art of Seeing by Aldous Huxley. It's terrifically effective. You begin the exercises by blinking rapidly for seven minutes. Bless you, my dark angel of the woods, Duncan xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh my. Heaven forefend anyone make a joke...

I don't think I'll preorder those diaries just yet...

Jessica said...

They don't come up on the presentation page on my amazon...

Nancy Mitford said...

Presentation page of To Noto, not of the general Fallowell list. On US Amazon my face is the book-cover too!

Anonymous said...

Scotch & tonically? I think you mean Scotch & sodally.

Anonymous said...

'Heaven forefend' is pure Susan Hill

Arcati said...

For me it's usually scotch and diet cokily, to be honest.