Monday, February 26, 2007

Whores, psychics and the Duke of Westminster

Lots of media grey pubes tut-tutted at the news last week that back in 2002 the Ministry of Defence spent £18,000 on psychics in an attempt to locate Osama bin Laden. It was reported that defence chiefs had concluded that there was "little value" in what is known as remote viewing after testing 12 novices on identifying, by psychic means, the contents of sealed envelopes. The success rate was 28%.

It's odd that the MoD went to this bother when there's already a man in their employ who does know where Osama hangs out ... step forward the UK's wealthiest man, the Duke of Westminster. For it was he who, prior to penetrative sex with prostitute Zana Brazdek, 26, with or without a condom (for a rather exorbitant £2,000), told her that he knew that the mastermind of 9/11 was loafing about in a village in Pakistan. Quite frankly, no psychic could compete with an Assistant Chief of Defence Staff (Reserves and Cadets).

But back to the MoD. Is 28% a poor result for psychics? As regular readers know, I scarcely believe anything I read in the newspapers. So, I asked my pal psychic Michelle Knight for her view. She says:

"This would not be considered a scientific test but the fact that the MOD got 'novices' and still had a 28% hit rate is actually rather good. The CIA did a 20-year investigation and Jessica Utts professor of statistics, University of California, Davis, and one of two experts commissioned by the CIA concluded that:

'Detailed analysis of the complete collection of experiments on this type of phenomenon shows that what holds, despite changes in equipment, experimenter, subjects, judges, targets and laboratories, is far greater consistency with the 1 in 3 success rate already mentioned than with the 1 in 5 chance expectation rate. Such consistency is the hallmark of a genuine effect, and this, together with the very low probability of the overall success rate observed occurring by chance, argues strongly for the phenomena being real and not artifactual.'

"That was actually based on the CIA experiments having a 27% hit rate rather than 28% that was in the UK experiment with 'novices'."

The Duke of Westminster's Osama hit rate is 0% as I write but that could change when he's quite finished bedding - as "Gerald Westminster" - the escorts of the Emperors Club VIP.

My grateful thanks to the News of the World for the insider whoring info

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