Dinner with the Caines and Berezovsky

I pop out for a Chinese - but not any old Chinese. I head for China Tang at the Dorchester and its Art Deco joys. It's run by "flamboyant" David Tang: I approve of his monstrous cigars as an enthusiastic passive smoker myself - and it's such a pleasure to see him again. Tang's loos are an especial reflective delight - hand-towels inscribed with "Kiss Me, I'm Chinese" - and I approbate the cut-glass cruets for soy and chilli sauces in this '20s temple. And then there are mirrors, mirrors on the walls....

David is a perfect host - and what a surprise he has for me tonight! First, Sir Michael and Shakira Caine turn up as fellow guests. Then we are joined by Russian billionaire and renegade oligarch Boris Berezovsky, a former Kremlin insider-turned-opponent who is now in self-imposed exile in London. He was also a best buddy of the recently poisoned Alexander "Sacha" Litvinenko. Czar Putin, it is rumoured, has Berezovsky on a death list ... but tonight I can only think of har gau steamed prawn dumplings.

I'd love to tell you what Boris said to Michael and what Shakira said to Boris' beautiful young female companion but, as you know, I'm not one to gossip. Boris did say at one point, of Sacha's murder, "Russia is blackmailing Scotland Yard in this case," and "We will not allow the investigation to be stopped and we will go to the end to seek out the criminals", but I was lost to the 2003 Garry Crittenden Pinot Noir.