Interesting piece in the Observer (for a change), about bullying. Someone called Tim Gill, a former government adviser who led a major review into children's play, has written a book, No Fear: Growing up in a Risk-Averse Society, in which he argues that playground bullying is exaggerated and that kids should be encouraged to sort out conflict with their peers and not be mollycoddled by teachers and parents.
But Liz Carnell, director of the charity Bullying UK, counters: "What may seem like minor name-calling to an adult could be devastating to the child. Bullying can start with one incident, and if you nip it in the bud straight away, it will not grow into a problem."
Carnell's view strikes me as the more sensible. At core, bullying - which can be verbal harassment or physical assault with always an intimidatory intent and usually a sustained element - is an unsocial behaviour. The failure of schools and parents to deal appropriately with bullies may account for the high incidence of workplace bullying: to many it is a behaviour that appears to be countenanced or excused and ultimately rewarded in adulthood. Successful bullies in high status jobs are even granted a certain cachet because of their "toughness" or "ruthlessness". Teachers maybe reluctant to tackle bullying because they themselves were indoctrinated as kids to tacitly side with the bully, not the victim, for fear of seeming weak. The source problem lies not in the victim but in the bully: the Gills and his ilk fail to recognise this simple truth.
Ultimately this is a question about the kind of world we wish to live in. It certainly won't be altered by invoking the old brutalising law of the jungle crap - which is just another excuse to leave things as they are.
Tim Gill - "government adviser". How depressing.
Observer: Bullying is Exaggerated
Bullying UK
Ten VERY SUCCESSFUL and FAMOUS glamour role model bullies (from UK perspective):
Rupert Murdoch
Anna Wintour
David Montgomery
Kelvin MacKenzie
Jeremy Kyle
Anne Robinson
Alastair Campbell
Naomi Campbell
Sharon Osbourne
Gordon Ramsay
20 comments:
"Ultimately this is a question about the kind of world we wish to live in. It certainly won't be altered by invoking the old brutalising law of the jungle crap - which is just another excuse to leave things as they are."
And mind you, this nice speech is coming from a hopeless "professional" bully, law-of-the-jungle virtuoso who knows what s/he's talking about! The "do what I say, not what I do" attitude, you know. Oh how the world would be wonderful indeed without the likes of Arcati!
The next time someone is politely disagreeing with you, granny, will you succeed in restraining yourself from insulting, slandering or threatening them – and even their relatives and friends? We are keen to attend the birth of your "social conscience".
Look who's talking!
Have I ever been bullying you, poor helpless old thing? :-)
You haven't been given the chance, dearie. Back to your dolls, now.
Surely it's important that children learn to bully and be bullied, how else will they adjust to adult life?
Daughter of a bitch...well, that explains a lot, she has finally admitted who she is. (why would "bitch" contain her insults meaning..to me!..YOU are a bully...you are a jealous bully. Mean spirited...it hurts me more than it brings anger; knowing it's my own sister that is doing the bullying..but than I find comfort in my confidence and strength. I was not being bullied until this family member got wind of my presence on here..
Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Many bullies share some common characteristics. They like to dominate others and are generally focused on themselves. They often have poor social skills and poor social judgment. Sometimes they have no feelings of empathy or caring toward other people.
I won't allow the verbal and emotional abuse..and I won't remain quiet, when I am in the position of defending myself..
think about it..who starts this abuse? A jealous woman, that won't admit her illness. How do you sleep with all the green slime inside you..? leave this site...you are a danger to yourself!
Although most bullies think they're hot stuff and have the right to push people around, others are actually insecure. They put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful. And some bullies act the way they do because they've been hurt by bullies in the past — maybe even a bullying figure in their own family, like a parent or other adult.
Some bullies actually have personality disorders that don't allow them to understand normal social emotions like guilt, empathy, compassion, or remorse. These people need help from a mental health professional like a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Clover Vitriol's plainly!
Ha ha ha ha - she's not Clover Vitriol! ... it doesn't get better.
>> listen, I don't know who Clover Vitriol is <<
But we do... and it's obviously not a four-leaf clover for Arcati! :-)
Steph said:
"They like to dominate others and are generally focused on themselves. They often have poor social skills and poor social judgment."
and...
"most bullies think they're hot stuff and have the right to push people around, others are actually insecure. They put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful."
Uh.....Steph......do realize, sweetie, that you are describing yourself? What was that saying? Oh yes, is the pot calling the kettle black?
Francine, be careful, your neighbors and dear bloggers will soon feel the wrath you have bestowed on steph..hope they are looking in their mailboxes soon for some up to date news on the new sex predators laws.
Good article. I agree
I mean good article on this blog i agree.
steph said...
Francine, be careful, your neighbors and dear bloggers will soon feel the wrath you have bestowed on steph..hope they are looking in their mailboxes soon for some up to date news on the new sex predators laws.
Blah, blah, blah. Are we ever going to get back to the good old days when Arcati's was a fun place to come to hear the latest news and gossip? It seems that ever since this Mastini twit showed up, all it's been is Spacey, Francine, Randy, ad infinitum. When are things going back to normal, Madame?
On another note, I agree that this was a great article. This is the stuff I like to read on here.
Thank you for your nice comments. Yes, maybe things need to lighten up a bit ... after the latest fracas over Arcati, we shall return to some substantial souffle.
>> Yes, maybe things need to lighten up a bit ... after the latest fracas over Arcati, we shall return to some substantial souffle. <<
Which actually means: NO MORE SPACEY EVER, and forget about that ludicrous Closetville soup opera. May we hope that, Vice Troll'O'Vir? Would be something, indeed.
Oh poppet, do you really hope so? All the Spacey/Mastini/Fowler entries will re reballed after this latest to-do and so readers old and fresh can follow the narrative at their own pace. It maybe the case that Spacey as a subject is a little exhausted, but I'm astonished you are not curious about the lives of the cast of Closetville. I suppose you stick to Emmerdale or some-such.
>> All the Spacey/Mastini/Fowler entries will re reballed after this latest to-do and so readers old and fresh can follow the narrative at their own pace. <<
Much work for nothing, if you ask me. A five-line digest would do, as far as I'm concerned. Or no digest at all, on second thought.
>> It maybe the case that Spacey as a subject is a little exhausted <<
If you've exhausted him, what about us, then! :-)
>> but I'm astonished you are not curious about the lives of the cast of Closetville <<
Not in the slightest, I swear.
that is because it involves your sister you jealous [troll]??!! (is that the best you can conjuer up?)...what talents have you exhibited lately?
Have you ever said anything positive, reflective, news worthy?? Interesting? No, because all you are armed with are swords of spite..we will press on..the greatest victory for me is that I am a talented vivacious artist..and the greatest revenge is success. Can't wait to see what Madame has in store for us now.
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