Madame Arcati is on Twitter now and I'm not that taken with it except the sleb daisy chains could be intriguing - if the stars are who they say they are.
Someone calling herself Celebrity Big Brother winner Ulrika Jonsson writes: "Thank god my butler has finally come back. He is going to get the sack for taking so long". Among her followers is the TV person Andi Peters who tweets: "Morning. Check out my new pic. See you Saturday!! Listen to Moyles from 6.30am" - that's dull and self-promoting enough to be authentic.
He's following TV presenter Phillip Schofield - "Chinese takeaway tonight. Bring on the salt and pepper squid and crispy duck!" He's following former Capt Kirk William Shatner who tweets of his old foe: "George Takei claims I never invited him on Raw Nerve. Here's the tongue in cheek story behind it: http://tinyurl.com/ascf4v." Whatever.
William may have over 10,000 followers but he only follows 4 Twits among whom is the film director JJ Abrams (I think the two dislike each other) and he writes: "How intimate can I be when posting about my private life? How often do I make updates......... so confused with this I have to admit." This is deep for Twitter, almost philosophical.
Abrams follows Barack Obama who asks you to "honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr by volunteering in your area. Visit http://usaservice.org/ or text SERVE to 56333 for info." Obama is following nearly a quarter of a million Twits (including Madame Arcati) . And ...
Oh dear, a message has come up: "Twitter is over capacity". As I sign out, Wossy (possibly Jonathan Ross) leaves the message: "Am working on idea for comedy panel game show to host at San Diego. Need cage of comic nerds for in-house 'phone a friend' idea." And political blogger Iain Dale has just pranged his car in the snow.
Everyone's talking but not to each other.