Tom Parker Bowles is pushing his book The Year of Eating Dangerously - his chronicle of munching disgusting things.
"It started with a pea" is the first sentence - and for me the last by preference. One of the dedicatees is "Camilla Cornwall" - the Duchess of Cornwall surely? - his mummy. She's the only reason why Ebury have brought out this eye-glazingly dull and pointless book. It's a publishing trophy book, a Trojan "name" book. How sad that an editor wearing a hair band went through Oxbridge to end up editing this.
When I meet him he says he would love to have a TV food show - he declaims one interesting thing: "There is a lot of low end, bad cooking TV out there ... I could definitely live without Ready, Steady, Cook. It's terrible."
The other revelation is that although the Korean taste for dog fills him with revulsion, he wouldn't mind dining on Chihuahua - "These mutts are asking to be thrown in the pot," he writes.
Then on p218/9 things get a bit interesting - he has an erection. This is the result of eating dog soup - not Corgi presumably. "As I walk, my ego starts to swell too, engorging into a proud tumesecence. I start to imagine a Ready Brek glow emanating from every pore ... " Ready Brek? How odd. Anyway ... "The stirring of my loins ... I've discounted all the 'fucky fuck' chat as rubbish, just like any other so-called aphrodisiac. But I have to admit, I feel mighty perky."
He then goes to bed but fails to say whether he has a wank before sleep.