"Ted Heath cruised me"

Occasionally I do the London gay bars - you meet the most interesting people (sometimes). Take last night. I get into conversation with a man who runs his own PR consultancy. This is what he said:

"A lot of my business is with the government and politics in general. I desperately want to be a Conservative MP, I'm up for selection soon. I have always loved the Conservatives and I passionately love my country. I don't know what my chances are as a gay man, but Cameron is very accepting of this sort of thing, the party has finally grown up I think.

"I adored Thatcher. I've been cruised by two political leaders in my life - no, not Thatcher! The first was Jeremy Thorpe when I was 15. No, I didn't succumb, I've never done anything illegal. I've never even taken drugs - I'm simply against illegality. And then the next time I was cruised was by Ted Heath. But I can't say anymore on him, I really can't, there's much I could say - I've already told you too much. Who are you by the way ...?"

After that I went to another club off Leicester Square. At the bar sat a white-haired old woman surrounded by young suits.

"What you looking at then, missus?" she said.
"I know you," I replied.
"Yeah, well, buy me a vodka and tonic then."

And so I did. She turned out to be the EastEnders actress Laila Morse who plays Mo Harris - I didn't realise she was Gary Oldman's sister. We had a delightful time though I never asked her what she was doing in this pit of iniquity.