Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Sharon Osbourne is flushed away

My prediction on Sunday that the latest X Factor will be Sharon Osbourne's swansong series may prove correct - I see that the woman who likes to share her shit with her nearest and dearest has leaked (so to speak) to The Sun her intention to quit the show. Apparently, she's tired of being pitted against Dannii Minogue by Simon Cowell and "being out of the loop". The reality is she was told to shove it after the producers read last weekend's News of the World - her brother David Arden's most serious allegation was that she tried to persuade her protege Ben Mills to quit the third series when it became obvious Simon's Leona Lewis would triumph. She's never won a series. As for Cowell, Minogue's appointment was a masterstroke to remove the demented and bullying Osbourne - a woman who should redirect her finances from cosmetic surgery to psychiatry.


Anonymous said...

Oh Madame, I do hope that you're not falling prey to the to-and-fro of rather pointless tabloid tittle-tattle, constructed by the producers themselves, and designed only to boost the viewing figures for a rather pathetic talent contest...

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madame Arcati said...

That's a bit broad brush - we mustn't try to be too smart to the point of erasion. While it's true Cowell is an adept manipulator of the press, even he cannot be blamed for David Arden's fantastic piece on his grotesque sister. The sooner Osbourne is off our screens the better - as she herself might say, there's enough shit on the box as there is.

Incidentally, having planted the story in the Sun today, Sharon now denies she has "any plans" to leave the show at the end of the year. More lies.

Marian Yule said...

Oddly enough, I was at Ricky Gervais's stand-up show yesterday, where he used his encore to tell a story about Sharon Osbourne's, er, unique approach to other people.

Apparently he was sitting with his girlfriend at the back at the recording of the live final for the last series, near Chris Tarrant and his daughter, and chef Aldo Zilli and his wife.

As the show was live, every commercial break was filled with a warm-up man taking questions from the audience to be put to the judges.

Chris Tarrant had apparently colluded with Louis Walsh to get to ask a question. He stood up, and started: "Sharon, you're married to an intelligent, articulate man..."

He got no further because Sharon Osbourne started screeching obscenities, including liberal use of the words 'fuck' and 'cunt' - all this just metres away from horrified families with children. She also threw in something along the lines of "No wonder your wife left you, Chris!"

Poor Chris tried to protest in vain that he wasn't about to take the piss out of Ozzy, while Louis mouthed apologies over Sharon's shoulder. Alas, there was no stopping the termagant's ire until the break ended and the show went back again.

At the next commercial break, Sharon stood up and said: "I'd like to apologise to all the mummies and kiddies out there - but you know what it's like when a loved one is attacked, you're like a tigress, aren't you?"

To Gervais's astonishment - this got a round of applause.

Clearly, as long as Sharon plays the 'I'm a mum under pressure, just like you!' card, she can get away with pretty much anything.