Daniel Radcliffe: penis: flash fiction competition!

"It's that thing of being shocked that I should have hair - you know, anywhere else other than on my head" - Daniel Radcliffe

The headline to this piece is perfectly search engine-friendly. What happens in that thousands of people flock to this site, guided by their feverish, masturbatory fascination with Daniel and Harry Potter, then when they're done they start to look about the site and come back for more. I should have gone into marketing.

Anyhow, here's the competition bit. You know what flash (or micro) fiction is - in this instance write Arcati a 50-word short story about Daniel's first kiss. Feel free to interpret this brief in any way you like, but no more than 50 words. You can write it in any genre - romance, thriller, western, literary, what have you. The prize?

- Publication of the winning entry on this famous site
- Literary fame and notoriety following an email-interview with the remorseless Arcati
- Something Harry Potter-ish (I'll see what I can do) - there are some lovely figurines I'm thinking about

The competiton ends on July 31. Send your entry to: Madamearcati69@aol.com. Your email address will suffice as a point of contact, include your author name. Anonymous entries submitted via the comment button will be instantly zapped. This competition is open to every resident of the globe including prisoners and unauthorised migrants.

Madame Arcati reserves the right to end this competition if entries do not match her exacting standards.

For examples of flash fiction click here. On the site are some good examples of the form including this, entitled A new nickname at 38 by Graham Coleman:

I was now 'Grishi', a reference to my love of fish-based snacks. On the plane I sat next to Isobel who had become Ishi. She was too tall for me but we rhymed. I told her this was as good a basis for marriage as any.